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A Walpurgis Night To Gag On!

4th of May was quite a special day for myself and Amber, It started off at Blackpool Pleasure Beach where I lost my Grand National V Plates, Stupidly rode SteepleDEATH …I mean chase, and Finally got Red Arrows Sky Force to get its flip on! Only to find it’s not easy at all to stop once it gets going! Amber took on her fear of Ghost Trains “Proud moment there”, We were borderline abused on The Big Dipper and whored ICON to the best of our ability…Valhalla however in 11degree weather is now the “water ride of regret”. Of course, no trip to the West Coast would be complete without hitting Pasaje Del Terror, Which once again had staple scenes delivered with creative expertise and finesse. Some great scenes included a trip into a horror memorabilia shop with some more than lifelike exhibits and coming face to face with the habit-clad Valak. Some great sharp scares along the way, So well done to Team Pasaje! Realising that we hadn’t planned time management that well we missed out on the Blackpool Tower Dungeon …however, we did find a beautiful Breakdance on the South Pier, This being mine and Ambers first Breakdance this one not by Huss but rather a company called Sobema showcasing a feature of the ride gondola cross being able to be lifted up from the main platform. Long story short this was a very forceful flat and if you like to lose all sense of direction head over to South Pier and take on this fantastic ride.

Now onto the Main Event…Cue RuPaul”This is the main event are you ready” SCARE KINGDOM SCREAM PARK – WALPURGIS NIGHT Scare Kingdom are back again but this time its a one night only show for the halfway to Halloween event, “Walpurgis Night” With 3 Attractions for our full experiencing pleasure. Manormortis-The Evil from Oz BodySnatchers-Spring Heel Jack Psychomanteum-GOREmet Cafe Just a quick shout out before we begin to ScareTrack who we had the absolute pleasure of visiting these attractions with. In attendance was Mikey Stuart, Ryan Nixon and Jenna-Louise Bulmer. Manormortis-The Evil from Oz Last time and my first time in Manormortis was back in February with the Baskerville Hall theme, During my visit, I could see that this attraction is stunning from the small light of the glowstick, So I was extremely excited to get back into Manormortis to see it in all its glory and I was not disappointed! The time’s story centred around a librarian who had been given a copy of the Wizard of Oz , Upon its entry on the premises the hearth, erupted with green fire and the characters from the book had been ripped from the pages and were now lost in Haxenghast Hall. It was our mission to help where we could. Now to fully review this stunningly designed attraction I think you might need 3 or 4 runs through”this is not a bad thing, just shows how much you was given whilst in” but from what my memory allows the attraction was a very theatrical experience. Starting with the iconic entrance through the fireplace it was not long till we met a Germanic Witch explaining the fate of the mansion and treating us to a little Hexentanz. Next, on our trip, we walked into the dilapidated church to find a darker rendition of the Tin Man” Personally I preferred this TinMan to the movie and I’m always moved for a good church scene XD”, Anyways sadly still rusted full of warning of the Wicked Witch of the West, Following the Tin Man other famous faces were found in equal dark or distressing measure. A Manic Dorothy searching for TOTO” maybe she should try Africa”, The aforementioned TOTO causing Amber to jump out of her skin and nearly into mine. A slow and depressed Scarecrow barely holding on to reality without his brain. A Not so cowardly Lion,The Wizard Himself and even an Emerald City guard with a slight narcissism complex. The finale being, of course, the Wicked Witch herself which after an introduction peice released “The Ravenous Beast” and Giant Flying Monkey to send us on our way. Manormortis – The Evil of Oz was not your standard maze, It relied on a stop-start nature as if walking through Frank.L. Baum’s books and each pause to meet a new character was a turn of the page. Overall a great start to the night. Scare-wise id gives it around a 3 as although its set was impeccable, the scares were thinner. Although I honestly do not believe that this form of Manormortis was designed for the mass scares in mind. BodySnatchers-Spring Heeled Jack Who or what is Spring Heeled Jack? A trip into the Brimstone and Black funeral parlour would soon answer those questions. Entering onto the old London cobbles a girl shouts from below of the terrors of the street, Some believe it to be Jack the Ripper back again, But she’s seen this one, A demon is stalking the streets by the name of Spring Heeled Jack. This is furthermore explained once welcomed into the safe sanctuary of the funeral parlour owner. After a short speech, he invites the girl in to explain of her findings, Dark Red Eyes, A Claw for a hand, A demonic beast on the prowl leaving little behind, This is Spring Heeled Jack, Sent through the house we are told that we can seek refuge in the Black Vault deep in the cellar, But in order to do so we must find another gentleman, Collin Henry Hazlewood- The writer of Victorian Penny Dreadfuls “we shall take a moment to admire his beauty”HOT GAWD DAMN. Anyways into the cellar things started taking a much darker turn eventually leading us into a caged area after some fantastic leg ticking effects. From this point onwards we were split into smaller groups, For safety maybe but as we have still been yet to meet the titular Jack, I feel this more to make us easy pickings. Now in groups of two we enter the dark, strobe-filled, smokey finale, Unable to see in front, sharp scares firing from all sides till something moves ahead in the smoke, Straining to see the attack is delivered as SHJ burst from the right in a perfectly executed scare only to double this assault dead ahead. Exiting Body Snatchers in the usual fashion, Like Manormortis I could not help but applaud its show.

Now onto the Infamous Psychosexual Clinic of Dr Killian Goodkind, This is of course…the extreme full contact experience that is Psychomanteum, This time under the theme of GOREmet Cafe. Psychomanteum-GOREmet Cafe I can not lie here and say I was not deeply apprehensive about this form of Psychomanteum, Like it does for many, foods in scare attractions fuels all sorts of anxieties, So when the GOREmet Cafe was released I honestly had to think long and hard to if I was going to put myself through the hatch. But all in all I thought if I’m going to be a reviewer I can’t run from the fear, So I confirmed for with Amber and for months this played on my mind of what just might be the edibles of choice. I hope you have a strong stomach as we revisit the 5 scenes of Psychomanteum-GOREmet Cafe. I say 5 as credit has to be given to the actor on the door, This time here is used perfectly to ramp up the tension, the fear and the anxiety while giving nothing away, This isn’t just a read and sign the waiver,this is “I want you to be sh*tting yourself when your time comes”, which I love! Then my time came, On hands and knees the rusted hatch opened and I crawled into the UK’s Sickest Scare Attraction. Like Before I don’t want to give too much away of the kind of things experienced in Psychomanteum as the absolute chaotic nature of the unknown is key for your experience. But in bullet points… -Delia Spliff provided a very organic, fresh from the source beverage that tasted like p*ss -Choices were given (Floury Baps or Soggy Bottoms) -I’ll never look at a hotdog the same way again although I do love a test of the gag reflex. Any guys reading…Yes I am single -Cleavers are scarier when you can’t see them -When Dr Goodkind tells you to sit with your hands out like your ready to receive something…just say NOOOO, Instead of “IM A GOOD BOY!” Whilst your parting “Soggy Biscuit” is prepared right in front of your eyes with lashings of salty sticky glaze that is still stuck on my clothing. -Contrary to popular belief , Sometimes spitting is better than swallowing, but I’m a good boy and finished my biscuit even after I was launched from the attraction and nearly made the barman sick. All in All I was right to fear this dirty, vile, sticky, horrible incarnation of Psychomanteum which in its first hour made one customer vomit and a certain ScareTrack member SAFEWORD! Hahaha sorry, Mikey. I always say that on leaving Psychomanteum you should feel dirty, degraded, excited, repulsed and relieved and I tell you what Psychomanteum-GOREmet Cafe delivered in full right over my hands, chest and face. Thank you to Scare Kingdom Scream Park for another fantastic night of amazing entertainment scares and shockingly vile endings! This is why we love you and this is why we always come back! Scare Kingdom Scream Park will be back on October 4th for its Halloween season. More information can be found at Scare Kingdom’s Website


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